Pagan Wedding Planners

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By Jacqui Thackway-Winn, Oct 29 2017 01:24PM

In our roles as Priestesses and Wedding Planners we get many enquiries from people from all over the world asking about Handfasting ceremonies. Over the years Pagan Wedding Planners has joined together many couples in this beautiful ritual. Many couples who come to us are Pagan through and through. They want a marriage ceremony that reflects their deep spiritual beliefs and honours who they are. These couples are deeply connected to their chosen paths and they will work very closely with us so that the ceremony encompasses all they hold dear. We work very hard with them to facilitate what they want.

Often fellow Pagans will be from a very different tradition to our own – I am a High Priestess in the Witchcraft tradition, Emma is from a more Shamanic and Animist background - but always we remember that it is our couples and their beliefs which matter. We have both been walking our own paths for over 35 years now so we have a broad understanding of many traditions. We know that at the core of them all are similar beliefs and practices, and we can turn our hands to most of them with confidence. We have worked with people from different Witchcraft traditions, with Druids, with High Ceremonial Magicians, Shamans, people who follow Norse traditions, healers, spiritualists… and can be in ceremony with all the above with confidence. This experience helps us greatly when working through scripts, vows and planning the ceremony with Pagans from many different paths. It also allows us to learn more about others' beliefs and ways of working and we both enjoy this immensely. It broadens our horizons and constantly encourages us to explore and to think outside the box.

We also get a lot of couples where one is pagan and the other is not. Often the other will say that they do not have a particular faith or indeed they may have no faith at all but are sympathetic to their partner’s beliefs. These couples will obviously have chatted together about what is important to them and again, as wedding planners and spiritual folk we want to incorporate these aspects into their ceremonies. It is our job to reflect this and make the ceremony balanced between the two, offering advice along the way.

However, more and more people who have no particular faith at all are now approaching us. They may feel a connection with nature and the cosmos but do not want to label it in any way. With these couples it is important to sit down with them and chat about what they may believe and feel is right for them. We always offer to soften certain aspects of the ceremony for those that feel that these practices and beliefs do not entirely fit with their own ideas. For instance, they may feel that the mention of a God and Goddess does not fit in with what they feel is right for them but they may be happier mentioning the Spirit of Nature and feel more comfortable with this. They may not want a full ceremonial Circle cast but are happy for the elements of nature to be acknowledged. We are always very happy to facilitate non-Pagans' wishes and honestly believe that you do not have to be Pagan to marry in this ancient tradition. We know there will be those in the Pagan world that do not agree with us and have had many a lively debate on this subject. It is our firm belief, however, that all are welcome.

We do always stress to our non pagan couples, though, that a Handfasting is indeed a ceremony rooted in Pagan belief and as such will contain Pagan imagery, no matter how “tamed down” it might be. It has been our experience, however, that these non-pagan couples all have a love of the natural world, a need to express themselves freely (or they would not be considering a ritual like this in the first place) and a respect for the beliefs expressed in the ceremony. And that is enough for us.

We are also seeing an increase in same sex Handfastings. Paganism is traditionally very accepting of other peoples life styles and sexual preferences. We do not judge. We believe that Deity, in whatever way we choose to see it, loves indiscriminately and so we should do the same. We are all a part of the whole and we are given the freedom of allowing ourselves to be who we truly are. Love, no matter in what form, between consenting adults, is pure and brilliant and should be celebrated in all its rainbow colours.

Handfastings are becoming more and more popular in this day and age. People are looking for alternatives to express their desire to marry in ways that are far more expressive of their beliefs and personality. For far too long we have only had the traditional church weddings or registry office to commit to each other. A Handfasting, although not a legal marriage, allows each couple to be individualistic in their approach to the way they marry. No two ceremonies are exactly alike as each couple brings their own ideas, personalities and feelings about each other to the service. These are unique rituals which celebrate love and joining in many different ways.

We have held Handfastings that are simple and very private with just the couple involved; we have held big and bold ceremonies with the couple's family and friends all taking a part in the ritual; we have had a circus themed Handfasting (that was a fabulous event!), and a beautiful fairy Handfasting (so magical). We even conducted a Handfasting that involved the couple and their children from previous relationships. They all stood in the Circle, had their hands bound, and all jumped the broomstick as a symbol of two families coming together as one. Moving and beautiful. We have Handfasted teachers, police, IT consultants, business men and women, nurses, folk from the LGBT communities, farmers, scientists, anatomists and even a lighting engineer for a very well known band. We have had people from Canada, Italy, Austria, America, Mexico, Australia and Spain coming to us here at Pagan Wedding Planers all wishing for a Handfasting as a deeply personal expression of their love for each other and in ways that they felt allowed them to express who they are in an individualistic way. Handfastings are perfect for this. People from all walks of life have passed our way and have brought something new and unique to each celebration we hold.

So, in answer to the question who gets handfasted? The answer is a resounding ANYONE can be joined in marriage in this ancient and sacred ritual of love. There are no bounds and no rules. If you have a love of nature, an open mind and an open heart, a desire to be a little different from the norm and want to express your love for each other freely, then this may well be the wedding ceremony for you.

By Jacqui Thackway-Winn, Sep 22 2015 02:22PM

This is a question that we get asked many times and the simple answer is... whenever you want! People pick their dates for all kinds of reasons. It can be an anniversary, a date special to you both, a time when you hope the weather will be good or simply a date that is practical. However, there are dates within the Pagan calender that may be auspicious energetically or that lend themselves to your particular ideas of handfasting and magic. These dates are part of the Pagan Wheel of The Year, and are celebrations that we call Sabbats. These follow the old pastoral year and the cycles of the Sun, celebrating the changing seasons. Each offers something different to celebrate and a way to learn more about ourselves and the sacred earth around us. By working with the Sabbats we hope to make positive changes in our lives and to know ourselves a little better. When it comes to love and marriage, each has something special to offer...


2nd February

Imbolc is a festival that celebrates the first stirrings of spring. The days are still cold and the nights are still dark, but the first signs of life returning to the world are visible- catkins are on the trees, snowdrops and crocuses are opening in the fields and gardens, lambs are being born and birds are nesting. This festival is all about new beginnings and fresh starts. It’s a time of planning for a future and filling it with your hopes and dreams. It has a lovely energy for a handfasting, but the weather needs to be taken into consideration. If you were planning an outdoor event it could be cold and/or wet, so maybe think about having the ceremony indoors. Perhaps a barn, heated marquee or yurt, a village hall or any number of the beautiful listed buildings around that allow weddings. These places are usually happy to hold a handfasting once they know what it is.

Other times to consider a handfasting around this time are the new moon or full moon closest to this date. Even Valentines day can be considered as the roots of this festival are to be found in the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia, a fertility festival celebrated around the 15th of the month.

Spring Equinox

21st March (22nd & 23rd)

This is the celebration of the arrival of Spring. The great Wheel has turned from Imbolc to Equinox. This is the time of year when the length of the day and night are equal. From this point on the days are filled with more light and the nights grow shorter. Both the equinoxes (spring and autumn) are about balance. We celebrate the balance of light and dark, day and night, Goddess and God, and man and woman. This is a great time of the year to hold your handfasting if you are looking for a balanced and happy future, honouring one another and celebrating each others differences as well as the things you love most about each other.


1st May

Beltane is a joyous occasion in the Pagan calendar, one that celebrates fertility and the joining together of the Goddess and the God in sacred marriage. In ancient times, May was often thought to have been an inauspicious time for weddings because of this – the month was set aside for the sacred marriage of the Divine only. However in modern times May is now a popular time for handfastings and people are revelling in the energy that the magic of this month brings. The natural world around us is full of blossom and blooms. The air is fragrant with the many scents of nature and the sun is often shining and warm. The days are longer and everyone has shaken off winter’s cold grip and are in the mood for merrymaking. A wedding in May can be a real celebration of the turning of the Wheel and the summer to come. The energy of this time is around fertility, creativity, passion and the life force both within ourselves and within nature.

Summer Solstice

21st June (22nd & 23rd)

The Summer Solstice is the time of year when the sun has reached its highest point in the sky. The days are as long as they are going to get and it is the shortest night of the year. The year has reached its zenith. June is a time when the gardens are blooming and summer is in full swing. Warm days and sultry evenings are usual. June is a fabulous time for weddings with the season adding its beauty and magic to the event. Our ancestors saw June as the luckiest month to get married, and this continues in the modern tradition of June weddings. The full moon of June is often known as the Mead Moon, or the Rose Moon. Mead has long been associated with love and fertility and it is from the custom of drinking mead each night for one moon cycle after a wedding to encourage fertility that we get the term “honeymoon”. Roses have long been associated with love, and they are in abundance at this time of year. A Summer Solstice wedding is a time to celebrate the strength of your relationship, to acknowledge the time you have spent together and to forge ahead with energy and an understanding of the changes that marriage may bring. It is a time of transition and a marriage celebration is certainly that!


31st July

This festival marks the first harvest, the grain harvest. The wheat is high and ripe in the fields and the farmers are working all the hours they can to bring it in. The days are hot and, although shortening, are still fairly long. The ancient Celtic societies in Ireland saw August as a very auspicious time for a Handfasting. The month of August and the festival of Lughnasadh/Lammas is my personal favourite for marriage. This is harvest time and we can celebrate all that we have sown and are now reaping, no better highlighted then in a Lammas wedding. The work and the love, the nurturing and the sacrifices we make in our relationships can really be celebrated at this time of year as a joining of two people in marriage.

The full moon at this time is also a very auspicious time for a handfasting, again signifying the growth and fulfilment of relationships.

Autumn Equinox

21st September (22nd & 23rd)

Like the Spring Equinox, this is also time of balance. Night and day are once again of equal length, but this time when the scales tip they will bring longer nights as the autumn draws in and eventually winter will follow. This is a time when we can begin to look inward at who we are and contemplate where we have been and where we want to be in the future. It marks the second harvest in the Pagan calendar, the harvesting of wild fruits such as blackberries and elderberries, so is again a time of fruitfulness and celebration of all that we are and can be. This makes it a lovely time for a handfasting if you wish to celebrate this aspect of your relationship. Autumn weddings can be very beautiful, with the natural world changing colour from rich greens to the yellows, reds and oranges of the season and, if you work this into your handfasting celebration, it can look so beautiful. The Autumn Equinox teaches us to gather to us the things we need for the future, and this can translate into our relationships on so many levels. A handfasting brings together all the people we love and care for to celebrate the joining of two hearts in marriage and it's an amazing time to give thanks to all those who we invite for their love and support in our lives.


31st October

This is a time when autumn has really taken grip and winter is on our doorstep. It is the third and final harvest of the Pagan calendar. Often the last of the apples are gathered and apples are associated as the fruit of love. This Sabbat was seen by our ancestors as the Celtic new year and therefore a time of looking back before we move forward. It is a time of deep magic and mystery, and we can often feel this in the beautiful mists of the early mornings at this time, or in the late evenings. It is a time when we believe that the veils between this world and the next are thin and we honour our ancestors and those of our friends and family that have travelled to The Summerlands (the afterlife) before us. It is a deeply magical time and those that choose this time for a handfasting do so understanding this. It is perfect time to acknowledge all that we are and all that we have been. As a couple planning a handfasting it is a great time to acknowledge this about yourselves, both as individuals before you met, as the individuals you are now, and as the couple you have become. You can honour the past, acknowledging all you have learnt from it, and embrace the future fully as you cross a threshold together into your new life.

Winter Solstice

21st December (22nd & 23rd)

A Winter Solstice wedding can be so romantic! It is often overlooked as a time for a handfasting because it is midwinter and the weather is cold and the earth sleeps soundly about us. It is also a busy time as celebrations for Yule/Christmas take precedence. It is a time of hustle and bustle, of gathering family and friends in celebration and many of us are running around getting all prepared for the festivities. But, if we stop, take head of the season and see it for what it is – gathering those we love close, celebrating the season with lights, trees, colours, candles, gifts etc, we can see that this time of year lends itself very well to a celebration of love, which itself is a light in darkness. We can bring a real feel of celebration into a Solstice wedding, when the night is at its longest and the day it shortest... for we know that even though we are in winters grip, slowly, slowly, day by day the light will return. This is a time of hope, of looking to a bright future, of celebrating family and friends and of coming together. A handfasting perfectly illustrates all that this time of year embodies.

Full Moon

Of course any of the full moons would be good for a handfasting. The full moon represents a time of fruitfulness and accomplishment. It is a time when we honour the Goddess in her aspect as Mother, making it a time of love, contemplation, fulfilment, and it can help teach us to nurture the people we love most.

New Moon

The new moon too can be an auspicious time for a handfasting. This phase of the moon signifies new beginnings and new journeys. A handfasting is certainly that! It represents the Goddess as Maiden, so is a time of learning and exploring, a time when we can begin to grow and transform, to move forward and to make plans for a bright future.

Whatever date you chose for your ceremony, be it inspired by the cycles of the sun or of the moon, whether it is a special date for you both, or it is simply a convenient time for all to gather, have a look at the world around you, at nature and the seasons and let the natural magics speak to you. Fill your day with love and joy, friendship and togetherness, and may you carry the magic of your day into the rest of your life together.

By Jacqui Thackway-Winn, Apr 7 2015 11:55AM

Wookey Hole Wedding
Wookey Hole Wedding

Pagan Wedding Planners has been organising, facilitating and performing Handfastings all over the UK for 5 years now. It's been a lot of fun and we have met some amazing people and conducted beautiful handfastings in some fabulous places. It's a job we both love and we consider ourselves very lucky indeed.

We pride ourselves on helping our couples find the perfect place for their ceremony, and many couples have introduced us to some great places too. We have performed handfastings in old decommissioned churches, in beautiful woodlands, ancient pagan sites such as Stonehenge, parks, caves, wild moorland and even in back gardens. Each venue has lent itself to the ceremony and has always reflected our couple’s unique styles and personalities. Picking your Handfasting venue is an important decision and you want to get it right. So, we have compiled a list of our top ten handfasting venues to help you get a feel and a flavour of what’s out there. These are in no particular order as we simply cannot pick our absolute favourite. It’s too difficult!

Chalice Well, Glastonbury, Somerset

Chalice Well Gardens are nestled in the heart of Glastonbury between the famous Tor and Chalice Hill. The waters of this ancient spring which bubbles up from under the Tor are considered sacred by many. The holy well is surrounded by beautiful gardens and orchards which makes it a gorgeous place to conduct a rite of handfasting. There are many magical spots to choose from, from under the ancient yew trees, or perhaps the apple trees in the orchard, or for smaller wedding parties, up by the well head itself. There is a cost for this venue but it is very reasonable and, as you hire the gardens outside of their opening hours, your wedding party gets exclusive use of this magical location.

The Rollright Stones

The Rollright Stones is an ancient site located on the Oxfordshire/Warwickshire border. We have performed several handfastings here and we love them! The circle is small but very strong in energy and each time we visit them they amaze us. There is a very small fee to pay (£20) which allows the handfasting to take place. We cannot guarantee absolute privacy here as they are open to the public daily, but in our experience the public are extremely respectful and keep their distance during the ceremony. This place is ideal for larger parties and the kids love it!

Avebury Stone Circle, Wiltshire

This is a simply stunning place for a Handfasting. It is a huge complex comprising a massive circular bank and ditch which encloses part of the village of Avebury itself, an inner circle of standing stones and two more stone circles – the Sun circle and the Moon circle. Its very atmospheric and extremely beautiful. For us, it certainly surpasses it's nearby “cousin” Stonehenge. There are lovely B&Bs in the village and venues for receptions and local caterers, or maybe organise a picnic within the stones themselves. Avebury is a free venue too!

Wookey Hole Caves, Somerset

This is one of the more expensive venues we have used but it really does have the “wow” factor. The staff are great and very handfasting friendly. The caves are also licensed to hold civil ceremonies if you want your marriage to be legally recognised. They have amazing on site facilities which include a lovely modern hotel with a honeymoon suite and a venue for the reception making it an ideal place to hold your entire handfasting/wedding celebrations from start to finish. The caves themselves are beautifully lit for your ceremony making them look and feel extremely magical.

Splotts Moor Farm, Glastonbury, Somerset

This is an amazing place just outside of Glastonbury. It has wonderful views of Glastonbury Tor one side and the stunning Somerset levels on the other. The owners are simply lovely and bend over backwards to give you the day you want. They have a purpose built stone circle on their land that, although it is modern, has been created with intent and love and the space is full of a gentle energy. There is accommodation in their B & B, and they allow camping if you want a “festival feel” to your celebrations. The marquee is stunning and is of a high standard, as is everything about this amazing venue. They book up for weddings very quickly so it is always good to enquire way in advance of your date.

Avalon Orchard, Glastonbury, Somerset

This beautiful orchard is nestled on the slopes of Glastonbury Tor, with stunning views over the Somerset Levels. We have performed handfasting here several times. Our favourite seasons here are spring, when the ancient apple trees are full of beautiful blossom and the autumn, when the boughs are heavy with apples. Apples have been seen as a fruit of love since ancient times, making this place an ideal place for a small, intimate celebration. This venue is free, but parking can prove difficult. Avalon Orchard is more suited to a smaller handfasting.

Blackberry Camp, Devon

We have not yet worked at Blackberry Camp, but we have a handfasting booked here in September this year. We went to look at it with our couple, who love the place, and we can see why. It's beautiful. It is set atop a hill with amazing views on one side, but is easily accessible on the other with good parking facilities. It is only small and is now covered in trees giving it a really natural atmosphere. In the spring it is at its most stunning, covered in a thick carpet of bluebells. We are very much looking forward to working in this lovely space.

Glastonbury Tribunal

This is a building on Glastonbury Hight St. It is a late 15th century stone town house that now houses a small museum and the local Tourist Information Centre. The building itself is very imposing but it is the garden at the back that we love. It is a hidden gem! Almost like a secret garden, as very few people know it is there. The garden is mostly lawn with some pretty borders and a couple of lovely trees for shade. It has a sweet little courtyard, an old well which is fed by yet another of Glastonbuy's sacred springs and a balcony leading off from the buildings first floor which is great for wedding photography. The garden can be hired for handfastings and being bang in the centre of town makes it handy for many suitable places in which to hold your reception. We have conducted handfastings here several times and have loved the atmosphere here very much. Unfortunately the website does not show the garden which is a shame as it really is very lovely.

Down Tor Stone Circle, Dartmoor

This is one for the slightly more adventurous! Down Tor is a particularly beautiful and magical stone circle on Dartmoor, Devon. It is quite small but absolutely stunning. We say that this is one for the more adventurous because it is situated about a half hour walk from the parking place, over the moor itself. However, it really is worth the effort! When we were booked for a handfasting here we had our reservations because of the walk and carrying all our kit, but when we saw the circle for the first time it simply took our breath away. It has a real presence when first setting eyes on it and the magical feeling just gets stronger as you approach it. When setting foot in this delightful circle you can really feel its energy and understand why it was built in this landscape. The views are amazing, especially on a fabulous summers day. Even if it's not your idea of a handfasting spot, it is well worth the visit.

Your back garden!

We have been asked on many occasions to perform handfasting celebrations in our couples back gardens! We find this works beautifully. The couples that ask this of us are usually very attached to their garden spaces and they have often created lovely gardens. Handfasting are all about the couple and their personalities and what better place to hold a handfasting then a very personal space indeed. We have worked in city gardens, country gardens, big gardens and small. It makes the organisation easy and the flow from the setting up of the space, to the ceremony itself, the reception etc all beautifully easy and so very personal. It is certainly something to consider if you love your garden and want something personal and intimate.

So, as you can see, these venues are all different and have something unique to offer. It is important to remember that you can choose pretty much wherever and whatever you want as far as a venue goes. We will always endeavour to guide and advise and seek the relevant permission where necessary. There are many stately homes, even castles, to choose from if you want something grand and imposing. But there are also the woodlands and meadowlands, the beaches and hilltops. It really is all about whatever works for you.